024Abort, Retry, Ignore by Lucy Blades

posted by Daniel on April 28th, 2008

The day after Sunday is always full of chore,
Like going back to work and see that bossy whore,
So I always do my best,
In my spare time I invest,
To browse the world wide web, away from office bore.

There was this funny poetry which I found last week,
Written by a lady who’s probably a geek,
She wrote about old DOS,
‘Twas not at all morose,
It brought that Monday cheer, one which I daily seek:

“Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat here doing spreadsheets:
Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.”

“Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the “save” command
But got instead a reprimand: it read, “Abort, Retry, Ignore?”
Was this some occult illusion?
Some manacal type intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.”

“Carefully I weighed my options…
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly I must now adopt one; choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore?
With my fingers pale and trembling
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored”

“Praying for some guarantee,
Finally I pressed a key.
But what on the screen did I see? Again “Abort, Retry, Ignore?”
I tried to catch the chips off guard -
I pressed again, but twice as hard,
But luck was just not on the cards, I saw what I had seen before.”

“Now I typed in desperation
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”
There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted
Getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.”

“And then I saw an awful sight
A bold and blinding flash of light
A lightening bolt that cut the night, and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died.
“OH NO! MY DATABASE!” I cried.
I heard a distant voice reply,

“You’ll see your spreadsheets…nevermore!”"

“To this day I do not know
The place to which our data goes.
Perhaps it goes to heaven, where the angels have it stored.
But as for Productivity, well,
I fear this has gone straight to Hell.
And that’s the tale I have to tell - your choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore.”

- by Lucy Blades

Source: http://www.funnypoets.com/poems/abortretryignore.htm

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